We say the most ridiculous “hi” in the world,
And you say something like
“I didn’t expect you to call…”
We both sit in silence for a moment too long
And I finally find the words to answer:
“I wasn’t sure you would want to talk to me”
There’s another long, long pause,
And this sweet version of you I once knew and loved sighs and says:
“I will always want to talk to you, little one. How things are going?”
And then, we would just chat. Two old friends catching up.
Two ex lovers learning how to be friends again.
It would be strange, at first, but then, it would feel like no time passed at all.
You would tell me about your new girl and your new life
And I would tell you about my ex husband and how much I was scared all the way through the marriage I longed for my whole life.
We would sit in silence again, drinking the new world we’re in,
Where you live with someone else and we’re not really friends,
Where I miss you so much, so much…
I’d be crying when I’d finally find courage to tell you I miss you
And that I wish it was you I married instead of him
That I wish it was me with you, not her
We’d sit in silence for just another while, and I’d just laugh of the irony in all of this
She’d call you from somewhere nearby and you’d tell me you have to go
“Yes, sure. Thank you for the talk”, I’d say, and we both know I’m not really sure it was a good idea.
You’re not sure either.
“Yeah. Anytime… Don’t be a stranger, little one”, you’d say
None of us would have the courage to hang up the phone,
And I’d just be glad to hear you breathing for a little longer.
“Ok, bye”, I’d say, and then, I’d finally hang up the phone.
I’d cry myself to sleep that night and the next and the next
But I’d be happy that some part of the boy I knew and loved still existed.
I’d just be happy to reach him once more.
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