.

When I'm lost in my head, 

When there's that fog in my mind, 

I need to remember who I am.

So I hold my mother and cry,

Hoping some part of her still knows 

How to ease my pain.

If she kiss me, would it heal where it hurts,

just like it did when I was a kid and scraped my knee

or bumped my arms somewhere so hard,

it bruised me.

Hope it does. 

Hope she still can kiss the hurt away.

So I cuddle her, I cry in her lap,

I hope she can cure my head.

Sometimes she doesn't even notice my tears,

Sometimes she holds me untill I can breathe again. 

She reminds me to breathe. 

I really wish she can still kiss the hurt away. 

.

There's a well.

I'm trapped inside it.

fallen from somewhere I don't remember. 

Cold hands shoved me down. 

Cold hands pulled me in. 

My fingers dug into the walls,

My mouth screamed and pleaded,

My tears mixed with the black water.

It drowned me.

It swallowed me whole. 

I was gone. 

And now I am lost. 

.

Do I exist? 

Or am I just someone else's memory, 

Trapped in a moment, 

A fragment of loneliness, 

A beam of melancholy 

If I am in someone else's head, 

Tell them to remember something 

Pretty about me. 

To remember me when I am happy

Just so I can know that there's more of me 

Than this crumpled memory of a sad girl. 

.

Mommy, I wish I had wings.

Wish I could fly away from my pain,
from myself,
from the ghost that looks back at me
when I look in the mirror.

I wish I could soar so high
that no blue days would exist.
Only blue skies,
reminding me that I still could find
some happiness
someday,
somewhere.

I wish I had wings, mommy…
Why can’t I be a bird?