.

Day, night, earth, sky, begginings and endigns, lovers and enemies, the dicotomy is never ending. 

You, me, here and there. What were the chances? What were the odds of two people like the two of us meeting and becoming friends and then falling in love and then finding a way to work it out despite all of the drama in between? 

I asked the ChatGPT, not with all the variables in between (like: what are the odds of me asking for a divorce at the same time my ex lover finds his way back in to my live), but just the simplest math equation: what were the odds of us meeting. And it was less than 0,049%. Less than one chance in two thousands, if we include all of the crazy variables.

We're here against all odds. It was never meant to be. 

Still, somehow, I feel like it was always supposed to be us. 

 

.

You hold me in your arms as you guide me through the gentle waves. 

The sea around us is peaceful, reflecting the glow of the night. 

The moon and stars shine to light the way, and you make my body float in your arms. 

My head rests on your shouder and it makes it easy for you to slip kisses in my face, forehead and nose, never complaning about how big my smile is in the moment, or how imense my love is for you. 

You make me float in the salty water, your hands sliding down my back and belly and breasts, grabbing me by the waist in that sweet, possessive way that makes my heart beat faster. 

As I look up, it's as if the sky was drawn just for this moment, just to bear witness the fact that the two of us exist in the same time line, in the same space-time. 

It's like it's a miracle that, despite all the "no"s on the way, we're still here. 

Peacefully enjoing each other's company. 

Lovingly enjoing each other's breath and smile.

It's like I'm alive for the first time in so long. I never want it to end. 

.

Eu quero o seu pior.

A sua versão mais crua, mais visceral, 

Seus desejos mais obscuros e seus impulsos mais violentos. 

Eu quero o seu melhor. 

Seus sorrisos mais sinceros e os seus beijos mais doces, 

Seus sonhos pequenos e os grandes também, 

A sua gentileza e o seu cuidado

E também a palma quente da sua mão no meu rosto,

Pescoço, nos meus seios e entre as minhas pernas.

Sua boca se perdendo em cada curva e vão do meu corpo, 

O vai e vem dos seus quadris nos meus,

Quero me perder e me encontrar em nós. 

Nós das minhas pernas na sua cintura.

Nós dos nossos dedos. 

Nós das suas mãos nos fios do meu cabelo. 

Nós. 

Nós dois e o mundo pra assistir. 

.

In my dream, I call and you pick it up

We say the most ridiculous “hi” in the world, 

And you say something like 

“I didn’t expect you to call…”

We both sit in silence for a moment too long 

And I finally find the words to answer: 

“I wasn’t sure you would want to talk to me”

There’s another long, long pause, 

And this sweet version of you I once knew and loved sighs and says:

“I will always want to talk to you, little one. How things are going?” 

And then, we would just chat. Two old friends catching up. 

Two ex lovers learning how to be friends again. 

It would be strange, at first, but then, it would feel like no time passed at all. 

You would tell me about your new girl and your new life 

And I would tell you about my ex husband and how much I was scared all the way through the marriage I longed for my whole life.

We would sit in silence again, drinking the new world we’re in, 

Where you live with someone else and we’re not really friends, 

Where I miss you so much, so much… 

I’d be crying when I’d finally find courage to tell you I miss you

And that I wish it was you I married instead of him

That I wish it was me with you, not her 

We’d sit in silence for just another while, and I’d just laugh of the irony in all of this

She’d call you from somewhere nearby and you’d tell me you have to go 

“Yes, sure. Thank you for the talk”, I’d say, and we both know I’m not really sure it was a good idea. 

You’re not sure either. 

“Yeah. Anytime… Don’t be a stranger, little one”, you’d say

None of us would have the courage to hang up the phone,

And I’d just be glad to hear you breathing for a little longer.

“Ok, bye”, I’d say, and then, I’d finally hang up the phone. 

I’d cry myself to sleep that night and the next and the next 

But I’d be happy that some part of the boy I knew and loved still existed.

I’d just be happy to reach him once more. 

.

Eu quero viver e morrer sabendo que entreguei o que eu podia para quem eu amei. 

Quero deitar em paz, sabendo que meu amor transbordou de todas as formas possíveis. 

Que de todas as maneiras que eu pude demonstrar o meu amor, eu fiz. 

Quero saber que, de todas as formas que alguém me pediu amor, eu ofereci. 

Quero viver e morrer sendo essa mesma pessoa que eu sou, que eu fui, e que eu serei. 

Quero ser verdadeira, talvez mais que nunca fui. 

Quero nunca mais me sentir pequena, só porque eu não fui amada como pensei que merecia. 

Eu quero viver e morrer sabendo que, independente do que os outros fizeram, eu fui merecedora de amor, compaixão e carinho. 

Quero viver e morrer de amor, por amor, em amor. 

Por mim e por quem fizer morada no meu coração. 

Amor por mim, e por você, que sempre vai ter um pedaço meu. 

Quero que se lembrem de mim como alguém que amou tanto, 

Amou muito, amou em todos os momentos. 

Alguém que acreditou em amores impossíveis, que viveu e defendeu amores adolescentes, 

Que acreditou até o último momento que valeria a pena amar.

Eu quero viver e morrer assim, em amor. 

.

lick me, love me 

lock me up inside your heart 

let me feel safe 

locked up in between your legs

light me up, lust me, 

lead me to your soul

lay me in the sanctuary of your love

laugh with me, lift me up, 

lower your mouth to meet mine 

and let us fall into each other 

lost in this feeling 

I dare to call love 

lure me to your arms 

and let me be the shadow 

that dances in your light. 

.

quando penso em você,

há calmaria na imensidão de vozes, vultos,

silêncio no barulho caótico da minha mente.

o mar revolto de sentimentos se aquieta,

reverente, amansado pela tranquilidade da sua voz,

sua serenidade me ancorando na

certeza do que existe e sempre existiu entre nós.

todos os medos são abafados,

só existimos os dois no mundo, 

e o mundo gira mais devagar enquanto nos movemos,

uma valsa bailada em qualquer ritmo, sem qualquer ensaio,

nossos corações unidos por algo invisível.

por essa ínfima parcela de momento,

nesse pequeno fragmento do tempo,

o universo pausa para eu te admirar, 

e eu tenho certeza de que nenhuma estrela,

nenhuma galáxia,

nada brilha tão forte quanto você e eu.