He hid a gun in our home.
I think it's funny because
He did it in the literal and
In the figurative way.
He hid a gun in our bed.
And that makes me so sad
That I just didn't though of it.
I couldn't foresee it.
Now, I lay here, thinking about
The imense danger,
The omnious sign it was
I sit here, thinking about the fact that,
In some ways,
He used that gun on me.
I'm broken hearted as I can be.
Shot in the heart.
Our love is dead.
I'll make my body a sacred altar
For you to worship every single piece
That makes me beautiful
Every single flaw
Every small freckle
The scars
The fears
Holy to you
As your lips spread prayers over my skin
Sinking your love into my bones
to my sister
the other half of my soul
my sunshine
there's no pouring rain
that will ever take me away from you
i miss you
i will not have it anymore
I want to never be tamed again
I wanna roar in my pride and my will
I wanna make the floor rumble with my rage
I wanna write poems about my passion
My fury
My rage
I wanna know exactly how I want it
Eu quero estar na beira da praia
Num dia nublado
O vento tão forte, tão forte no meu rosto
Eu quero sentar com os pés na areia,
A água batendo nas pontas dos dedos
O som das ondas tão alto nos meus ouvidos…
Eu quero respirar e sentir que eu existo.
Goddess, please,
make this love die in me.
Make this pain go away.
I'm so tired of missing what's not mine.
It was always supposed to be us.
You and me.
From the first look, the first touch, the first words you spoke to me.
It was meant to be.
It was supposed to be us.
I feel like the more I write
The less I hurt
It's like the blue ink of the pen took it all from me
It took all the pain
It smeared all my fears and all my anger
In neat little letters
Straight little lines
Yellow little pages filled with all that cannot live in my heart
Not anymore
In theses beautiful little pages
In the silence of this pen and this ink
All my demons can scream free
Scratch scratch
I feel it
When you try to get out of my heart
Out of the chest that I've put you in
So locked up
So hidden
All mine
A love no one would ever see
No one would ever know
Just you and me
But you're trying so hard to get out
To leave me
To lose me
To be free from me
I just wish I could let you go
I wish that you'd let me go as well
I can't breathe in the cold cage that's your heart.
I love to pour all of my heart and pain in these pages.
It takes such a heavy burden out of my chest.
It makes me feel seen.
Makes my rage feel shared with ghosts of us, you and me.
All of the versions that made me this dreadful mess.
I feel lighter after I pour it all out and scream into these pages.
I feel like I could say anything, like I could say nothing, and that would be enough.
once upon a time
there were a woman
so mad in love,
her ravenous heart took it all
her gentle hands tried to hold on to everything
but she couldn't
she was just one
with just two gentle little hands
clumsy enough to let it all fall
let it all break.
she took it all
she was left with nothing
because she took so much more
than she could hold
poor woman
blind with vicious love
savage with need
left all alone
in a dark cloudy cold night
all the pieces of the love she held
beautifuly exposed on the floor
there was nothing more to hold on to
the Godess says:
(re)connect with yourself
love yourself
She says, and i hear it
i must love myself
but how can i do so
if all my love belongs to You?
Oh, love,
Did you give our song to her?
Did she like it?
Did she love it?
Did she mark it on her skin?
In her heart?
Did she listen to it on repeat and think of us?
Did you?
I know you did.
I know she loved it.
Just like I did.
There are some days that words just come out from my fingers as if I don't write, I'd drown.
There are some days that I lose myself in the silence that echoes in my mind, fighting to find any words that will translate what I'm feeling.
There are days that, no matter how many verses I write, nothing seems better at the end.
Today is a day like this, I'm so confused in the words rambling at the point of my fingers, trying to make any sense, but there's none to find.
I just lost control. Just like I lost myself. And I don't even know how to get them back.
Where should I go?
Who should I call for?
When should I leave?
Is it too late?
Is it too soon?
Will it make any difference now?
Why I can't feel ok?
Why can't I fucking make it stop?
Wish I could just stop.
I miss me.
poor little sad lonely girl
with no one to hold her
no one to care for her
no one, but herself
poor little broken strange creature
with eyes all over her
witnessing every single move
every single mistake
poor little misunderstood weird being
so lost with no light to guide her
with no path to cross
no finish line waiting for her
just memories
just sorrow
just loneliness
we're statues in my mind
memories of a beautiful time
trapped to be just that
a beautiful memory
oh, but it's so heavy
so heavy to admire you from afar
so heavy to love you in the distance
i'm stone cold with memories and loss
and all i wanted was to be there
in that memory in your arms
looking into your eyes
crying as you loved me
loved me more than i could ever dream of
looking into your eyes
and seeing my future in them
in you
i can't stop looking at this masterpiece
even though it breaks my heart
love,
i miss you so much
i wish you knew
i wish i could tell you
but i promissed to stay away
and that's for the best
the best for you and me
but, anyway, i miss you so much
i have love for all of my versions so far
all the love i hold in my heart
all the love that keeps me sane
but for this verson of now...
well, all i have for her is pitty
and i pitty her so much
